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{Prompt:Your character is determined to do something they know to be a mistake.}
The bells hanging on the door sound almost like church bells tolling doom instead of the cheap leftover christmas bells thta they are, hanging on frayed green and gold yarn. I swear the door slammed behind me and I expected everyone in the place to turn and stare at me. I paused, waiting, but they were all looking at the glittering jewel tones, trying not to acatch anyone’s eye themselves. It was only when the clerk asked if i needed anything that I realized I was standing in the middle of the entrance still, so I slunk over to the side, shaking my hand at him, denying, denying.
I hid behind a display of collectible sets for five minutes before I heard him speaking to a customer. Part of me was thinking I could make a bolt for the door and just get out of here. Should get out of here, but I felt stuck. I was here, I made it this far, and I was not sitting in the corner licking a bottle yet. Maybe I could make it through a simple purchase. Maybe.
I was walking down an aisle, tripping through a flashback slideshow of memories, linked to each different silhouette on the shelves. I couldn’t stop myself, I remember when I had that one in Vegas, I remmeber when Joe bought that one to the wedding, I remember…
Why I am here. Not for me, but now I can’t remember why not Those are good memories. Where are the bad ones? when DO they come floating in? Maybe it has been long enough as they say, or maybe not long enough, because it has taken me this long to walk down one asile of memories, and I still have not gotten what I came for.
So i literally take a big breath and start all over agin. Not at teh front door, but at least in my own mind. Noone here knows that I should not be here. In fact, maybe they should not be here. That thought at least carries me over to teh other aisle, where I should find what aI need. I mean, what I am here to purchase. Can;t believe it I am actually berating myself for doing a simple errand.
But it is not that smple, really, is it? I have been adding complex levels to teh entire chore ever since the PTA meeting last week when what’s her face said, “You can pick taht up for us, right? It should make a nice retirement gift.” I could have said no. Should have, but then I may have had to say why, and that was just not happening in front of her and the other moms. So I’m here. And it only took me twenty minutes to get from the car to the store, and now at least twenty to do the lap around.
[That was "at least five minutes" just to keep myself going, and now the teen's home and I must run all over town again...have a good weekend all.]
As the air starts to tease me with an early autumnal breeze, I find myself looking forward to all things Fall, including the writing blitz known as NaNoWriMo. Technically, it is still summer though and I know that we can expect at least two more stifling heat waves here in south-eastern Virginia before November arrives. Labor Day weekend is here, which many consider the unofficial end of the summer season and an excuse for one more mini-vaca. Personally, I will actually be laboring on Monday, but if you have a free weekend (and 50 bucks) you may want to try your hand at the 3-Day Novel Contest which essentially makes NaNo’s challenge look simple. The premise is the same, but there is no word count, only a restriction to three days of fast-paced, no editing writing. It is a contest too and the winner does get publication, so it may be worth the investment (and exhaustion). You must register by Friday, but this is the 32nd year, so you can always plan for 2010.
Just a quickie because I want to share this link with the world. I recently discovered a group on WordPress called ReadWritePoem (see sidebar) and I just jumped at the chance to join yet another network. Seriously, it seems to be a good network for poets and poetry lovers to gather. I am still checking it out and setting up camp, but I love what I see so far. I may even get the gumption up to submit some poetry 
So, then I followed a link to a blog because the name “I Was Born Doing Reference in Sin” made me literally LOL, and I was fortunate to read the newest post called Why Do I Write from a poet named Arisa White, which is what I want to share. Definitely some very good reasons there i.e:
It is truly, the times when I feel safe. Free to take risk, to emote, and to be led by imagination without fear.
I believe we all have our own reasons, and some are more personal than others, but she has definitely summed up some of my own feelings. Hope you enjoy!
One of the wonderful things I have found in my wanderings is a site called Write Anything right here on WordPress. I am actually surprised I have not seen them before. Six writers from different genres, styles and countries take turns blogging about all things writing, including their own experiences and advice. I definitely recommend new writers check it out. I was drawn there on Wednesday by the catchy-titled post “Handling Rejection and Criticism” by Annie Evett. Each writer blogs a certain day, but Fridays are for us! As a creative writing exercise, Fiction Fridays offer readers a prompt and a place to share your results. This is my first participation, with the prompt being:
Start your story with a game of hide and seek.
They recommend writing for at least five minutes, without editing. As soon as I began, my daughter started a pots-and pans-band and then my mother called, and then…well, everything I do takes longer. And apparently my environment does contribute to my writing. Also, I still have that nagging constant editing thing going on. So, I already broke the “rules”…oh well. I know it is awkward to read, but I am trying to practice the second-person voice for a character in the incomplete NaNoNovel. So, please bear with me. It’s a quickie
Fiction Friday: Hide and Seek
You know in a way that you are taking advantage of the situation, but you cannot help mentally reveling in your own genius. You even give yourself extra points for insisting on adding the one-way film to the windows during last summer’s renovation. Brilliant. You can see them taking turns passing by, calling the only name they know you by, but they still have not found you. It has already found the others and now they’ve ganged up to find you. You’ve got five minutes, tops.
Leaning back with a sigh, you wash off the nagging guilt with a reminder, “It was their idea in the first place, I am doing nothing wrong.” It works as a mantra, echoing back from the tiles as if your conscience has its own public address system.
With eyes closed, you watch the colors dancing and try to focus on the sound of bubbles popping. The tenth cry of “Ready or not, here we come!” snaps you back to attention less than a minute later. That one was pretty close. Peeking again through the window, you are startled when you see It peering suspiciously in your direction. The tell-tale sloshing sounds louder than possible when you slide out of view. It echoes back, ominous in the sudden silence which you break with a laugh. Now you are just being ridiculous.
“But I may as well enjoy it while I can,” you tell the tiles, leaning back into the warmth again. Half a minute of bubbles is all you get to hear before the feet start thumping down the hallway. And you smirk, eyes still closed when they pound on the door.
“Mom, we know you are in there!” the nine-year-old is starting to sound just like you.
“Ready or not! Ready or not!” the other two are chanting. You can picture them jumping up and down behind her.
“Not!” you say, stretching your legs out and watching the suds slide trough the stubble. Maybe next time.
“Come on, Mother,” says the darling on the other side of the door. With another sigh, you lean forward and pull out the plug.
When you open the door, she is shaking her head, arms crossed, looking more like your mother and the twins are wrestling on the floor.
“We found you!” one of them squeals when he sees you standing in the doorway in your robe.
“What took you so long?” you ask with a smile, pulling your daughter into a big hug, while her brothers grab onto your legs.
“You’re It! You’re It!”
“Okay, then,” you say with another smirk, “You hide somewhere in the house, and I’ll go in my room and count to a million.” That should give you time to dress.
I’m struggling. I admit it. The only thing flowing out of me these days are low-paying online articles and that’s more like a trickle. I keep making deals with myself, that when I finish the income-producing work, then I can get creative. More often than not, though, I’m sapped after a day of kid rearin’ and service workin’. And I let myself get sucked into the online pleasure dome of social networks and blogs, etc. I admit I would rather read someone else’s great post than write my own mediocre one. Fortunately, I do find something worth seeing, and even learn a thing or two in my virtual escapades. I have been playing on Twitter more often, and definitely finding as many inspirations as distractions. And you know I like to share, because what is better than an excuse to procrastinate more? A: a reason to write, of course
- This link came across through someone’s tweet a few weeks ago and for some crazy reason appealed to me, so I saved it in my quick post sidebar (which has become something of a catchall for links and blog ideas.)…A post called 6 Tricks for Writing when You Don’t Feel Like It on Writer Unboxed which is a great collaborate blog for “genre” writers (btw, no offense, but I thought everyone wrote in some genre, but apparently that term has become common now for mystery/sci-fi/fantasy/etc writers)
- One of the coolest developments born on Twitter are the tweet chats that are occurring regularly. Anyone can contribute or follow just by using the #(hashtag-yes, just like on the trending list, but better)… there are topics for just about everyone, including book chats (i.e. #followreader is mainly book bloggers and Tuesdays @ 7pm EasternTime is #TuesBookTalk) and writing chats like #writechat (Sundays 12-3pm PT), which is hosted by Writing Spirit who also has a very helpful and inspiring blog.
- Speaking of hashtags, there are several writers can use, both to keep up with other writers and to keep oneself on track, including #writegoal, #amwriting and #writetip. I have found several new resources and blogs to read by checking out these lists. Warning, though, Twitter has been discovered by spammers, and they know how to use the tags too. I suggest going to interesting tweeters, then checking their actual blog/website link before adding them to your list. And do not hesitate to block obvious spammers. They deserve it.
- If all else fails, I can ensure my place in literary culture simply by submitting a piece to the National Gallery of Writing. In conjunction with the National Day of Writing (October 20, 2009) this project is open for groups and individuals to contribute any form of writing (within specific limitations of course, this is sponsored by English teachers). Schools and classes are forming their own “exhibits” but submissions range from scientific essays and memoirs, to stories and poems. Frankly, some of the best pieces I have ever written were for English class, so maybe I should dust off one of those. Write on y’all!
I am sorry that I have been absent for so long (if anyone was looking)…Let’s just say that I hit a speed bump, not a block But I do know that the first rule of writing is: Sit Down and Start! and that if at first we don’t succeed, try, try…you get it. So, here I am tired, humbled and maybe a bit more determined. Today is the first day of the rest of my yadayada…
And what a great day in literary history it is! Joanne (K) Rowling was born today, July 31st and she also gave her famous protagonist the same birthday, so some people call this Harry Potter Day. I don’t know if they need their own holiday (?) but it is a good day to apply pen to paper and get back into the flow.
Personally, she is one of my inspirations as far as success stories and admiration of style and skill, as well as, darn it, personality. When I first discovered the Harry Potter books, I was a single mother, struggling through a bad separation and divorce, temporarily living at my parents and waiting tables while also trying to finish my degree and maintain a healthy relationship with my 5-year old son. My British reading teacher mother actually bought the books to read to him while I worked dinner shifts, but reading at bedtime was one of our Favorite Things, so one night I read a chapter to him, then could not stop after he fell asleep. I had to go back and start the wondrous journey all over. Despite being tired, stressed and a literature major for goodness sakes, I was enthralled. That was in 2001, the boy is 13 now, and we love all things Harry Potter.
I admit to being a bit of a fan, as in fanatic, when it comes to Rowling and her amazing Wizard World. Hearing her own story only cemented my obsession 
{btw: if you have not yet seen the documentary A Year in the Life with JK Rowling, you can view it on the ABC site. i cried. } She was at a low point in her life, divorced with a young child who depended completely on her and an idea for a story that apparently would not leave her head (a feeling I know well). I believe that millions of people would agree with me when I say, “Thank God, she wrote it down.”
I believe that her story, both the fictional and the biographical one, epitomize the answer to the struggling writer’s question “why write?” You never know, it may just change the world.
ADDED Aug 7: Since I have been in a Potter mood this summer and the books are always fun to read, I am definitely signing up for this challenge at Galleysmith. If you haven’t read the series yet, well, of course I recommend it! And if you have, then you may want to listen to the audiobooks, which is accepted for the challenge. You have almost a year to complete it and yes, there are prizes. But, of course the biggest reward is the joy of reading, right? Sign up by August 15th to be entered for the prize drawings!
Poetry Month is almost over and I have been writing away, trying to catch up on the Poem-A-Day challenge. I wanted to point out the upcoming Poem in Your Pocket Day which is April 30th, but now I am hooked on this story:
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6652066.html?industryid=47144
Lulu, the print-on-demand self-publishing company that you may be familiar with already, has purchased the domain http://www.poetry.com and created a whole new site built around the old name. It looks to me like a decent resource, complete with free contests that users vote on (and actually award $$), but also a well-played marketing move to encourage amateur poets like myself to invest in a self-published collection. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; poetry has a long tradition of self-published poets. It worked for Walt Whitman, among many others. There is of course, a darker [and slightly juicy] side to this story. You may be familiar with the original Poetry.com site which has been featured on such prestigious lists as Winning Writers’ “Contests to Avoid” and Professor Roy’s Amazingly Bad Poetry Journal. This is the site connected to the infamous National Library of Poetry, and several other aliases, which scammed innocent poets into paying for anthologies and awards that seldom materialized.The site has basically been considered a joke among literary and writing circles, though some others may have harsher words for it. It has even inspired parody contests for Bad Poetry.
Lulu legitimately paid for the domain name and are trying to change the tarnished image into their own shiny one, but now they are warding off dissatisfied customers and p.o.’d poets who
a.) want their money back
b.) want their poems back [yes, they got some of the archived poetry along with the domain, though they swear they did not buy the business itself. That company, Watermark Media, is double-dead].
c.) want revenge
d.) All of the above
The comment board on their blog already has ppl writing in all caps what they think about Lulu and poetry.com … I think they should have thought this one through a bit better, though maybe the controversy will be good PR. Hey, it drew me there, and the prize money sure looks tempting. I would just laugh, but many people really fell for the scam and it somewhat marred the image of poetry publications in America. So, I do question how legitimate this move can make that domain name now. Obviously it is optimal for the search engines, but as any former tween celebrity can tell you, it is hard to shake a bad rep, even if you change your name, Lulu.
The prompt yesterday was shockingly not about Earth Day, but rather, work. Now, I could have done a piece about how we all have work to do to improve our ecological karma, but you all know that already, right? So, this one is more personal, because work, and what it means to me, are very much on my mind lately. I did attempt a sonnet, though Shakespeare would probably shudder…
I obviously gave up on NaBloPoMo for the month. I fell asleep early one night reading to my daughter. So, then I decided I deserved a weekend off, and now, it’s Tuesday… But, I am still trying to catch up with the Poem a Day Challenge, so the next week will be a spree. Big family weekend coming up, of course, but I think I can, I think I can…
Monday was my birthday, and the prompt was “Rebirth”. I am a huge fan of irony Robert Lee Brewer also gave us a quick lesson on the Villanelle form, which was new to me so I took it on. I think that traditionally, the form may be a little more lighthearted than mine is, but what can I say? That’s where I was at…
4/20
I was born on this April day
which brings pain for so many
and others mark in their own way.
There are no words that truly say
how it can feel for any
person born on this April day.
I think of people left to pray
for the souls lost in Germany
and others marked the same way.
Think of children who could not play
in Waco, Colorado and many
other places marked in other ways.
Every Spring, I enter the gray,
reflect and then live again. See—
I was born on an April day
that others mark in their own way.
Since I am not finished with a poem today, I will share some other poetry resources from the Interwebs. I am counting this as the list post which was “assigned” Day 2 of the Build a Better Blog Challenge. [Obviously, I am not stressing myself to do that every day too, but I am learning some good hints and tips, just by reading the posts.] OK- in no particular order:
Shadow Poetry
This site has just about everything you could ask for to satisfy your poetic needs, including chapbook publishing. Some of the items are closed except to members, but the Reference pages [terms, poets, handbook, etc], Message boards and slightly addictive Magnet Poetry are free to use. If you are interested in having a chapbook published, check out their service. There are also a bookstore and two magazines available by subscription. They do accept submissions from non-members and you can submit directly through the site.
Winning Writers
This site is the home of the Poetry Contest Insider, which is a thorough database-for-a-fee. They also offer a good list of Free Poetry Contests when you sign up for their e-newsletter. Additionally, they have their own contests running throughout the year, including the Margaret Reid Traditional Verse Poetry Contest [taking entries now] and the Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest [enter in August]. Also worth checking out is their page on Poetry Contests to Avoid which lists scams and questionable sites and organizations.
Poets.org
This is the official site from the Academy of American Poets, so I guess it is kind of obvious. If you are looking for a favorite old poem or information on any American poet, go here. They also are the main source for National Poetry Month [April, btw, in case you missed that], since they started it about 13 years ago. There are resources for educators and readers, event listings and contests. You can also sign up to get a poem in your email daily for the rest of the month. An interesting addition this year is the Free Verse group through Flickr which has readers’ favorite poetry incorporated into photography. Some of the interpretations and images are fantastic. It is definitely fun to browse.
Originally uploaded by MtGQ
Poet’s Haven
This site is for indy poets to share their work with the web. It is open to anyone, which means that the poems cover just about every topic, style and angst-ridden memory imaginable. You can share your poetry, discuss poetry in general on the forums, get and give critiques, and there are also other articles, reviews, etc. The highlite for me is the Saturday Night with The Poet’s Haven podcast which features readings from live open-mic nights [mostly in Ohio, where they are based]. You can submit a reading to the podcast too here. I actually have a couple old poems floating around on there from a few years ago. I may have to track them down… [BTW: they do protect your copyright- you reserve all rights.]
Giggle Poetry
This is a poetry site for kids, and it is published by Meadowbrook Press, so yes, they push their work, but there are some hilarious poems here. Teachers, and parents can find resources for teaching creative poetry writing to children and kids can read and rate poems, enter contests and play poetry games. The “Smoker’s Epitaph” fill-in-the-blank is a bit creepy, but sure to raise giggles in the youth and young-at-heart [assuming you do not smoke ]
I know there are many other worthwhile sites out there, and I purposefully did not include blogs, but I would love to learn about any you find particularly helpful or inspiring. Now, I must return to my journal, because I am way behind in the PAD Challenge. Is anyone else posting over there at all? Please share if you are! BTW: They are asking folks to post the favorite selection of their own poems done for the challenge so far. I cannot decide which one of mine I would pick. Any votes?
NaNoWriMo
http://janflora.wordpress.com/files/2007/11/120_240_vertical.jpg
Even though there is nothing there for me.
I scan the freelance sites with ambition
that’s not reflected on my resume.
I work at home with kids all around me
and have little to show when I am done.
Between dishes, diapers and the laundry
I squeeze in blogs, poems and sometimes work on
some novels that may never be ready.
In the eyes of many, I’m just a mom.
There are some who know the real me,
writer, teacher, reader, thinker, and some
who are glad I am there every day
willing to put aside work just to play.