Because, I write.

Just a quickie because I want to share this link with the world. I recently discovered a group on WordPress called ReadWritePoem (see sidebar) and I just jumped at the chance to join yet another network. Seriously, it seems to be a  good network for poets and poetry lovers to gather. I am still checking it out and setting up camp, but I love what I see so far. I may even get the gumption up to submit some poetry   So, then I followed a link to a blog because the name “I Was Born Doing Reference in Sin” made me literally LOL, and I was fortunate to read the newest post called Why Do I Write from a poet named Arisa White, which is what I want to share. Definitely some very good reasons there i.e:

It is truly, the times when I feel safe. Free to take risk, to emote, and to be led by imagination without fear.

I believe we all have our own reasons, and some are more personal than others, but she has definitely summed up some of my own feelings. Hope you enjoy!

Fiction Friday: Hide and Seek

One of the wonderful things I have found in my wanderings is  a site called Write Anything right here on WordPress. I am actually surprised I have not seen them before.  Six writers from different genres, styles and countries take turns blogging about all things writing, including their own experiences and advice. I definitely recommend new writers check it out. I was drawn there on Wednesday by the catchy-titled post “Handling Rejection and Criticism” by Annie Evett. Each writer blogs a certain day, but Fridays are for us! As a creative writing exercise, Fiction Fridays offer readers a prompt and a place to share your results. This is my first participation, with the prompt being:

Start your story with a game of hide and seek.

They recommend writing for at least five minutes, without editing. As soon as I began, my daughter started a pots-and pans-band and then my mother called, and then…well, everything I do takes longer. And apparently my environment does contribute to my writing. Also, I still have that nagging constant editing thing going on. So, I already broke the “rules”…oh well. I know it is awkward to read, but I am trying to practice the second-person voice for a character in the incomplete NaNoNovel. So, please bear with me. It’s a quickie

Fiction Friday: Hide and Seek

You know in a way that you are taking advantage of the situation, but you cannot help mentally reveling in your own genius. You even give yourself extra points for insisting on adding the one-way film to the windows during last summer’s renovation. Brilliant. You can see them taking turns passing by, calling the only name they know you by, but they still have not found you. It has already found the others and now they’ve ganged up to find you. You’ve got five minutes, tops.

Leaning back with a sigh, you wash off the nagging guilt with a reminder, “It was their idea in the first place, I am doing nothing wrong.” It works as a mantra, echoing back from the tiles as if your conscience has its own public address system.

With eyes closed, you watch the colors dancing and try to focus on the sound of bubbles popping. The tenth cry of “Ready or not, here we come!” snaps you back to attention less than a minute later. That one was pretty close. Peeking again through the window, you are startled when you see It peering suspiciously in your direction. The tell-tale sloshing sounds louder than possible when you slide out of view. It echoes back, ominous in the sudden silence which you break with a laugh. Now you are just being ridiculous.

“But I may as well enjoy it while I can,” you tell the tiles, leaning back into the warmth again. Half a minute of bubbles is all you get to hear before the feet start thumping down the hallway. And you smirk, eyes still closed when they pound on the door.

“Mom, we know you are in there!” the nine-year-old is starting to sound just like you.

“Ready or not! Ready or not!” the other two are chanting. You can picture them jumping up and down behind her.

“Not!” you say, stretching your legs out and watching the suds slide trough the stubble. Maybe next time.

“Come on, Mother,” says the darling on the other side of the door. With another sigh, you lean forward and pull out the plug.

When you open the door, she is shaking her head, arms crossed, looking more like your mother and the twins are wrestling on the floor.

“We found you!” one of them squeals when he sees you standing in the doorway in your robe.

“What took you so long?” you ask with a smile, pulling your daughter into a big hug, while her brothers grab onto your legs.

“You’re It! You’re It!”

“Okay, then,” you say with another smirk, “You hide somewhere in the house, and I’ll go in my room and count to a million.” That should give you time to dress.

It’s Not Procrastination if It’s Productive

I’m struggling. I admit it. The only thing flowing out of me these days are low-paying online articles and that’s more like a trickle. I keep making deals with myself, that when I finish the income-producing work, then I can get creative. More often than not, though, I’m sapped after a day of kid rearin’ and service workin’. And I let myself get sucked into the online pleasure dome of social networks and blogs, etc. I admit I would rather read someone else’s great post than write my own mediocre one. Fortunately, I do find something worth seeing, and even learn a thing or two in my virtual escapades. I have been playing on Twitter more often, and definitely finding as many inspirations as distractions. And you know I like to share, because what is better than an excuse to procrastinate more? A: a reason to write, of  course

• This link came across through someone’s tweet a few weeks ago and for some crazy reason appealed to me, so I saved it in my quick post sidebar (which has become something of a catchall for links and blog ideas.)…A post called 6 Tricks for Writing when You Don’t Feel Like It on Writer Unboxed which is a great collaborate blog for “genre” writers (btw, no offense, but I thought everyone wrote in some genre, but apparently that term has become common now for mystery/sci-fi/fantasy/etc writers)
• One of the coolest developments born on Twitter are the tweet chats that are occurring regularly. Anyone can contribute or follow just by using the #(hashtag-yes, just like on the trending list, but better)… there are topics for just about everyone, including book chats (i.e. #followreader is mainly book bloggers and Tuesdays @ 7pm EasternTime is #TuesBookTalk) and writing chats like #writechat (Sundays 12-3pm PT), which is hosted by Writing Spirit who also has a very helpful and inspiring blog.
• Speaking of hashtags, there are several writers can use, both to keep up with other writers and to keep oneself on track, including #writegoal, #amwriting and #writetip. I have found several new resources and blogs to read by checking out these lists. Warning, though, Twitter has been discovered by spammers, and they know how to use the tags too. I suggest going to interesting tweeters, then checking their actual blog/website link before adding them to your list. And do not hesitate to block obvious spammers. They deserve it.
• If all else fails, I can ensure my place in literary culture simply by submitting a piece to the National Gallery of Writing. In conjunction with the National Day of Writing (October 20, 2009) this project is open for groups and individuals to contribute any form of writing (within specific limitations of course, this is sponsored by English teachers). Schools and classes are forming their own “exhibits” but submissions range from scientific essays and memoirs, to stories and poems. Frankly, some of the best pieces I have ever written were for English class, so maybe I should dust off one of those. Write on y’all!

Happy Birthday to JK Rowling!

I am sorry that I have been absent for so long (if anyone was looking)…Let’s just say that I hit a speed bump, not a block But I do know that the first rule of writing is: Sit Down and Start! and that if at first we don’t succeed, try, try…you get it. So, here I am tired, humbled and maybe a bit more determined. Today is the first day of the rest of my yadayada…
And what a great day in literary history it is! Joanne (K) Rowling was born today, July 31st and she also gave her famous protagonist the same birthday, so some people call this Harry Potter Day. I don’t know if they need their own holiday (?) but it is a good day to apply pen to paper and get back into the flow.
Personally, she is one of my inspirations as far as success stories and admiration of style and skill, as well as, darn it, personality. When I first discovered the Harry Potter books, I was a single mother, struggling through a bad separation and divorce, temporarily living at my parents and waiting tables while also trying to finish my degree and maintain a healthy relationship with my 5-year old son. My British reading teacher mother actually bought the books to read to him while I worked dinner shifts, but reading at bedtime was one of our Favorite Things, so one night I read a chapter to him, then could not stop after he fell asleep. I had to go back and start the wondrous journey all over. Despite being tired, stressed and a literature major for goodness sakes, I was enthralled. That was in 2001, the boy is 13 now, and we love all things Harry Potter.
I admit to being a bit of a fan, as in fanatic, when it comes to Rowling and her amazing Wizard World. Hearing her own story only cemented my obsession {btw: if you have not yet seen the documentary A Year in the Life with JK Rowling, you can view it on the ABC site.  i cried. } She was at a low point in her life, divorced with a young child who depended completely on her and an idea for a story that apparently would not leave her head (a feeling I know well). I believe that millions of people would agree with me when I say, “Thank God, she wrote it down.”
I believe that her story, both the fictional and the biographical one, epitomize the answer to the struggling writer’s question “why write?” You never know, it may just change the world.

ADDED Aug 7: Since I have been in a Potter mood this summer and the books are always fun to read, I am definitely signing up for this challenge at Galleysmith. If you haven’t read the series yet, well, of course I recommend it! And if you have, then you may want to listen to the audiobooks, which is accepted for  the challenge. You have almost a year to complete it and yes, there are prizes. But, of course the biggest reward is the joy of reading, right?   Sign up by August 15th to be entered for the prize drawings!

On an Upswing

Thank you to Danielle over at Calliope’s Pen for bringing me back from my down swing. I guess i was burnt out after all of that forced creativity in April. I did finish the Poem-A-Day Challenge, writing several obviously rushed pieces in the last few days. Then I volunteered to read through not one, but two days worth of poems for Poetic Asides’ blogger Robert Brewer, who was under enough stress. It was a lot of poems. And a good lesson in itself. I feel more confident in my poetry writing now, but also know I still have a lot to learn and improve. Just when I was thinking I should give up on the novel writing and concentrate on other things, I was struck by another idea for yet another story, the kind where you wake up from a dream anxious to write it all down before it is gone again. That always feels good So, even though I have not been on here, I have not been totally slacking, and I am working on getting back in the flow again. I still do not have  a job though. I guess we can’t really have it all…

PS: I am planning on doing a bunch of reviews in June, because I have also been reading [natch!].

Building Blocks for Blogs

I am checking out the Build A Better Blog Challenge at Problogger.net, not that I am a “problogger” but it cant hurt to get some hints on blogging. I really like the medium/genre and have been looking into how I can actually incorporate it into my career. Not here, of course. This is still my personal flow page
So the first step entitled Write an Elevator Pitch, is to develop a pitch for your blog, or a blurb, I would call it, a brief description of what the blog is about and offers to the reader.
I kind of like my little tagline “The block has been…etc,” which was just the first thing I thought of when I decided to do this blog. That pretty much sums up that the blog is just whatever I have coming out of me when I am in a flow. But that’s probably not a “pro” answer. I have actually used my “blogging credentials” in some queries and applications and I have felt a little awkward in describing it. After all, it is decidedly not professional, so does it even count as experience or qualification? I do feel it is experience, if only as a learning process, which is how I have thought of it from the beginning. I have altered my About page before, and it could probably use sprucing up, but I think that showing the changes helps me and others see how this blog has grown.

So, tentatively, here’s an “elevator pitch”:

Writer’s Flow is a weblog about my experience on the writing path. I have been writing for most of my life, but have only recently ventured into the public arena. As a lifelong bookworm and former educator, as well as a mother, I also want to promote reading and literacy. I share what I learn and think about the writing lifestyle, as well as resources for other writers, readers and educators.

Does that sound professional or pretentious? Well, like I said, it’s tentative.

Btw: the prompt today is to write about something missing….which, for now, is today’s poem

Poem a Day: Landmark

I got the prompt this morning and mulled over it all day while doing home and garden and kid stuff. When I got some quiet time to myself I began working on something, but it is not done so I am not posting it yet. I am pooped and need to rest before I can write anymore. So tomorrow I will have 2 poems to write, or one and  a half. Along with the two articles I have to do too. But, I am not feeling that overwhelmed… yet. It feels good to be writing regularly again. Of course, the novel still is incomplete…

I like writing poetry, but I know it is not everyone’s cuppa… I have not always had an easy time sharing it though. Even in a poetry course taken in college, I shied away from sharing time and ultimately did not turn in the portfolio, which was basically the entire course grade. I did/do have a hard time thinking of poetry being graded. I think it is way too open to interpretation, haha, and also, I had/have these issues with rejection. Which is why it is  a bit odd that I have so easily shared these pieces here. Perhaps it is because these bits are hardly personal. They are written to someone else’s prompt, not on my own impulse [the one that sends you scrambling for paper in the middle of the night or traffic until you get the thought OUT, you know]. Because it is a daily exercise, there is a rushed informality to it. I think it is understood that it may stink. And, there is safety in numbers, too. Mine is just one of hundreds of amateur poems in Poetic Asides’ comments. And I am not the only one blogging them.

But, mostly, I think I am able to share them because I am so comfortable now, writing in this space. I have found a little writer’s support group in this blogosphere and even knowing that many others may come and scoff and never return, I certainly appreciate the encouragement I get from you, as well as the inspiration, hearing about your work, successes and struggles. Truth is, I do not get that much irl. Though my hubby, friends and family are encouraging and supportive, too, it is in a different way. Not all of them really understand what exactly I do, nor how I struggle with it. And frankly, I do not share many personal feelings about writing, et al, with them. Sometimes it is hard to put in words, iykwim. So, thank you, because you are here reading this now I know I may not make my fortune with this weblog, but it has become priceless to me, and I appreciate you reading. It makes me feel like a real writer.

On the March

pic from photobucket by weezweez

Well, there goes March, calmly and coolly, at least in these parts. Of course, I know it still feels like winter to some. I’ve been following a friend’s updates from Alaska where a volcano blew its load a couple weeks ago and other friends who somehow live through the winters in exotic places like Minnesota and Wisconsin. They all grew up here in southeast Virginia on the coast with me, but have migrated west since high school. I, for one, could not survive a winter north of the Mason-Dixon line. I like snow, and enjoyed the results of the one snowfall we had this year, at the beginning of this month. Driving through the start of it from Pennsylvania with three kids and a broken windshield wiper, however, sucked, to put it bluntly. So, yes, I am ready for April and spring, and though I may be complaining about our nasty, stifling humidity in another month, I am enjoying the sunshine now. It does make it slightly harder to sit at the desk and not stare out the window, but I am also soaking in some inspiration.

In recent years, I have definitely been hibernating more and feel like I am losing some connection with the outdoors, although I know I get more fresh air and sunshine than many folks out there. Yet I recently was diagnosed Vitamin D deficient by my doc, who told me most Americans who live north of Atlanta are considered deficient in the sunshine vitamin. This discovery has filled in a lot of blanks for me since D is linked to energy, moods and even digestion, all of which I have had issues with more since moving back here from Florida in 2002. Like many adults who either work in offices in front of the computer or at home in front of the computer, I need to get out more. So now I am on prescription Vitamin D [NOT covered by insurance btw!] and I am setting a personal goal for myself, to spend time outside every day (~20 mins is recommended). Easier to do these days, aside from the downpour periods we have been having.

I am hoping this will all lead to a recharge on the writing flow, too. I have been trying to focus on work [primarily, as in "finding some"] but I miss the creativity buzz I get when I am on an upswing. It would be nice if the two were combined in my life, which is the ultimate goal. But, as I was reminded the other day by Uppington, this path I am on right now will lead to another eventually. I have been down rockier ways, that is for sure, and really, though it is in many ways less scenic and exciting, I think I am on the right track. Like most things in this wild world it is all connected: improved nutrition leads to better health, leads to better writing leads to work, yada, yada… at least that is the theory I am working with this week.

The Poem-A-Day Challenge starts tomorrow which will be a great creativity exercise. I think it fits with Spring, too [how appropriate that April is National Poetry Month, no matter how "cruel" she may be]. I plan on blogging them, so I hope you like amateur poetry

Psych 101 for Writers [or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Muse]

So my SAD seems to be affecting my flow…and it can’t be good for my Chi either. I have been procrastinating so much with my work writing that I don’t feel I can justify fun writing…but I miss it and have to remind myself that the blog does help my flow. I was contemplating how ironic my blog name is considering how little flow I have to show…when I began this blog, I was coming out of a long block and needed an outlet to write my never-ending opinions. I was also trying to learn more about the blog form and can say I have definitely achieved that goal.
I cannot say I am exactly blocked these days. I am writing [for-profit!] and still working on various creative projects. But I am at more of a trickle than a flow. Naturally, when I am struggling with work and rejection, I am not going to be at my peak creative performance, but the muse is still THERE…giving me dirty looks and whispering in asides. Quite aggravating. So why don’t I just get back into the flow already, what is holding me back? These are the kind of things I contemplate when I am internally berating myself for not finishing the novel or not submitting more often…not writing what I really want to write…
Anyway, I do not want to get to deep into the self-pity stage, but rather want to share yet another fab resource I have found for anyone who understood everything I just wrote.

I was attracted by this site’s offer to help fiction writers with their characters’ psychological needs. I plan on sending my YA heroine to group therapy, and boy, does her mom have issues. So I want to get it right, right? Archetype [The Fiction Writer's Guide to Psychology] offers just such a resource and then some: writing prompts, advice for submissions and agent searches, even worksheets to help newbie writers. There is also a Media Portrayals section [essays on psychology of characters] which looks interesting and will hopefully expand.

What I did not expect was to find answers to my own psychological needs (or at least the ones linked to writing). The site also has articles about creativity and the psyche, beating the dreaded block, even-and this floored me because it was like finding the answer to life-what is “writer’s flow”- no kidding: here’s the link

http://archetypewriting.com/articles/articles_ck/muse_block_ckFlowArticle.htm

It explains so much in such a succinct way. I read a few other pieces before I found that one, and I am going back for more. If you have any need to diagnose your protagonist, are looking for key characteristics of a disorder, or need a boost to your own flow, head on over. There is an Archetype Writing blog worth checking out too, and the site does accept article submissions as well. Frankly, I think they could add a forum and offer online therapy for those of us loony enough to love our writing lifestyles. Sign me up!

My Festivus Airing of Grievances, to myself

With some trepidation, I am starting the submission process again. No, not for the NaNovel [see that wordcount widget hanging on the left? I must confess it is still about the same]. Actually, I have a healthy supply of writings which are in various stages of revision. Some pieces have not ever been read by another pair of eyes. I have definitely not kept up with that part of the game this year, which is certainly one of my Writeresolutions for Aught-Nine. I am making a submission schedule and plan on using a tracking program which should work better than the notebook in which I keep scribbling quick notes and addresses.

I actually have a lot of writing resolutions to work on, some of which I listed way back in January. I do not feel that I completely failed to do what I resolved to do, although some people may think so. I am writing regularly, and though I do not have an income from writing yet, I do have a lot more experience and knowledge about the wonderful world of writing [not to mention the mysterious realm of publishing]. Best of all I am coming out of my writer’s shell and actually talking about it with people- admitting I am a writer is the first step on the writer’s path, right? This is rather huge for me, because although I have always written and have had writing in my life since I could hold a crayon, I have struggled with my own view of myself as a writer. It was so easy when I did not think about what or why I wanted to write. Now, I self-edit myself often before the words ever see paper. This may explain why I wept when I read this beautiful passage from hownottowrite:

As I’ve grown older, I’ve trained myself to spend too much time thinking about the words and where they come from. The question of origin nags me like the sound of a sleeping child who coughs in a unfamiliar way. I try to tell myself that everything is alright, but I can’t help sneaking a peek. I creep slowly down the hall, trying my best to be silent. Yet, even with a lifetime’s practice, each board seems loose under my feet. The doorknob turns, gnashing like the gears of an enormous clock.

I highly recommend you read that whole post. Much like this author, I was the child up at night reading and writing by the borrowed light from the closet or hallway. When my father cut them off, telling me to get to sleep, I created stories in my mind to put myself to sleep. Some of those stories are still there, now coming out to finally see the light of day.

When I was young, I wrote mostly as an assignment and did not really understand the praise that accompanied the grades. As I grew and my self-esteem plummeted in adolescence, I wrote in secret, turning to my journal more than any other confidante. When that private space was invaded it was hard to recover the confidence to write for others. I started to fear the criticism and even the positive responses to my writing. I would write, but my words were for my eyes only. Always a bookworm, I preferred to read what I never could imitate and convinced myself that I could never be good enough and there was already enough crap out there to which I did not want to contribute. I have to admit to still believing that, but I cannot deny that I want to be a writer.

I used to say “I can write; I have the ability to write; I do write.” rather than “I am a writer.” Generally this was in response to the question, “Oh, are you a writer?” when folks-who-know-me mentioned it to others or asked me directly, “Are you still writing? What are you writing now?” I played it off as a hobby more than a part of my entire self. I still do not talk about it with everyone, but I am at least able to say it to myself. Much of the confidence I have gained recently is due to this blog, and my connections I have found online and with other writers. I officially count that blessing. I think it helps to know that I am not the only one who struggles with similar feelings and dilemmas. It is also good to know that I can write without being rejected. I may not get a thousand hits here, but my words [and often my feelings] are out there for anyone to see, and I have lost nothing, I survived.

So, maybe I lost a lot of years of my writing career because I held myself back, and spent “too much time thinking about the words and where they come from” but I am here now and I am no longer looking back at the rejections and violations and drunken “poetry” written in my angsty years. It is time to revise and revisit, but only so I can remember how far I have come as I continue the journey. As one of my favorite quotes says “You are not an official writer until you’ve gotten a rejection.” Well, I have gotten that far, and I must keep going. I must submit myself to the process and commit to writing or I will never be accepted as a writer, if only by myself.

{When I began this post, a few days ago, I was in a different frame of mind [still weeping over hownottowrite]. Then I was interrupted by my chaotic life and saved the draft. In the weird way the universe works, the next day I received in the mail a copy of Alice W. Flaherty’s The Midnight Disease: The Drive to Write, Writer’s Block, and the Creative Brain. It was a gift from myself because I had wish-listed it on PaperbackSwap and completely forgotten about it until it arrived. I will share more with you when I finish it.}