One of the wonderful things I have found in my wanderings is a site called Write Anything right here on WordPress. I am actually surprised I have not seen them before. Six writers from different genres, styles and countries take turns blogging about all things writing, including their own experiences and advice. I definitely recommend new writers check it out. I was drawn there on Wednesday by the catchy-titled post “Handling Rejection and Criticism” by Annie Evett. Each writer blogs a certain day, but Fridays are for us! As a creative writing exercise, Fiction Fridays offer readers a prompt and a place to share your results. This is my first participation, with the prompt being:
Start your story with a game of hide and seek.
They recommend writing for at least five minutes, without editing. As soon as I began, my daughter started a pots-and pans-band and then my mother called, and then…well, everything I do takes longer. And apparently my environment does contribute to my writing. Also, I still have that nagging constant editing thing going on. So, I already broke the “rules”…oh well. I know it is awkward to read, but I am trying to practice the second-person voice for a character in the incomplete NaNoNovel. So, please bear with me. It’s a quickie
Fiction Friday: Hide and Seek
You know in a way that you are taking advantage of the situation, but you cannot help mentally reveling in your own genius. You even give yourself extra points for insisting on adding the one-way film to the windows during last summer’s renovation. Brilliant. You can see them taking turns passing by, calling the only name they know you by, but they still have not found you. It has already found the others and now they’ve ganged up to find you. You’ve got five minutes, tops.
Leaning back with a sigh, you wash off the nagging guilt with a reminder, “It was their idea in the first place, I am doing nothing wrong.” It works as a mantra, echoing back from the tiles as if your conscience has its own public address system.
With eyes closed, you watch the colors dancing and try to focus on the sound of bubbles popping. The tenth cry of “Ready or not, here we come!” snaps you back to attention less than a minute later. That one was pretty close. Peeking again through the window, you are startled when you see It peering suspiciously in your direction. The tell-tale sloshing sounds louder than possible when you slide out of view. It echoes back, ominous in the sudden silence which you break with a laugh. Now you are just being ridiculous.
“But I may as well enjoy it while I can,” you tell the tiles, leaning back into the warmth again. Half a minute of bubbles is all you get to hear before the feet start thumping down the hallway. And you smirk, eyes still closed when they pound on the door.
“Mom, we know you are in there!” the nine-year-old is starting to sound just like you.
“Ready or not! Ready or not!” the other two are chanting. You can picture them jumping up and down behind her.
“Not!” you say, stretching your legs out and watching the suds slide trough the stubble. Maybe next time.
“Come on, Mother,” says the darling on the other side of the door. With another sigh, you lean forward and pull out the plug.
When you open the door, she is shaking her head, arms crossed, looking more like your mother and the twins are wrestling on the floor.
“We found you!” one of them squeals when he sees you standing in the doorway in your robe.
“What took you so long?” you ask with a smile, pulling your daughter into a big hug, while her brothers grab onto your legs.
“You’re It! You’re It!”
“Okay, then,” you say with another smirk, “You hide somewhere in the house, and I’ll go in my room and count to a million.” That should give you time to dress.



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8 comments
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August 21, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Mark
Warm, touching and it reminds me of my mother when I was a small boy.
Great use of misdirection, too.
August 21, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Arial
Yes, hide in the bubbles! Loved it! Not used to the 2nd person format, but that’s my hang-up.
That’s my two pence…
Arial
August 21, 2009 at 5:10 pm
itallmeanssomething
Hahaha! Good job! I had to go back and read a second time after I “got” it. I have never tried second person. You’ve done it well.
August 21, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Digital Dame
Very cute! That second-person POV is very different, I wouldn’t have thought to try that.
August 24, 2009 at 7:32 am
Ronda Levine
This is cute. I think you do a good job of using the 2nd person POV here. I’ve never used it when writing a story. It makes the reader feel like you’re having a conversation with them – kind of like as if we were having coffee together and you were telling me about your day with the kids. Welcome to the Fiction Friday club!
August 25, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Annie
And I thought I was the only mum who tried this one out on the kids!! ( big smile!)
Firstly – thank you so much for your kind words at the top of this post and for recommending the site. Welcome to Friday Fiction! Its only through new contributors that we push ourselves out of our comfort zone to critique work in an honest way.
yes – I agree with you – its hard ( lots of the time) to keep within the ‘rules’ – but you have easily captured your feelings, thoughts and engaged the senses to portray a warm and intimate family scene.
We are all posting our first drafts – and it is sort of like running around in your undies – but it gets easier and pretty soon you won’t notice ( giggle!)
Sorry for my tardiness on my comments – I too am a busy mum and ’stuff’ got in the way till now.
visitors can see my FF here – http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/08/seeking-sunjuro.html
I have given myself a challenge for FF – to write in a different genre each week. this week I tried my hand at Wuxia
August 28, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Annie
oh – and thanks for your comments – re your question to which Genre was my favoured… hummmm I like Urban mythicalism followed by swashbuckling historical adventure.
see you on Fiction Friday soon
August 30, 2009 at 5:54 pm
janflora
oooo….urban mythicalism sounds interesting and I also love great historical fiction. I am just impressed that you seem to easily write in so many different genres! Thank you all for your kind comments
And the warm welcome… I have been out of town but do plan to try the Fiction Friday exercise this week too. This time with a timer and less self-editing!